Toni Kuhn

This week we move on to part three of learning to let go of things that restrict our mental freedom. Number 6 has really resonated with me this week. As I started to pay close attention to my thought process I noticed I seem to “create” or “replay” scenarios over and over. Part of this hamster wheel of thoughts is due to my need to please everyone. I tend to blame myself for other people’s feelings or actions and then I start to criticize and harshly judge myself. Sound familiar? As you can see the previous items on the list of the “things to let go” are intertwined and they often initiate each other. But remember, this is a process and the first step is awareness. We all have had these thoughts at one time or another. Just keep trying to be the best version of yourself everyday. Breathe and let go.

Namaste.

5. I’ve let go of judging.

I know that everyone is on their own journey, and my job is to focus on my own. I also know that each time I am judgmental with people, I’m reacting to something that bothers me about myself. If I believe you are mean, it means I can also be mean; how could I see that in you, otherwise?

“Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgment gives you the power to change them.” ~Byron Katie

6. I’ve let go of making assumptions about what other people feel, want, or think.

I am not them, so there’s no way to know what they’re feeling and thinking.

I stopped making up imaginary scenarios and letting my mind play with me. Each time I find myself disturbed by what people do or say, I know it’s time for a reality check.

From “The Work” of Byron Katie, I’ve learned to examine the thoughts that trouble me and ask myself: “Is that true?” Many of my assumptions likely aren’t. For example, I might assume someone doesn’t like me, when really she’s just having a bad day. Or maybe she’s just shy. Not everyone is the same.

The moment I realize I can’t know what this person thinks, simply because I am not her, my mind gets clear and I am able to meet her with an open heart.

“I found that my unquestioned assumptions were the cause of all war and all peace in my world.” ~Byron Katie

This week in my yoga classes I read excerpts  from an article “10 Things I’ve Let Go and How This has Set me Free” by Sara Fabia. I read the first 2 things and I got an overwhelming response, so I thought I would share it with you. I will post the next two next week. I hope you enjoy these tips.

Yoga Retreat Update:

I have received a lot of reservations for my yoga retreats. Both May & June are half way filled up. Be sure to reserve your spot early! Here is the June flier. June 10 Yoga Retreat

1. I’ve let go of the need to be perfect.

I am perfectly beautiful and beautifully imperfect, and this is what allows me to be me.

Perfection is an illusion—it doesn’t exist. I stopped stressing myself out trying to be perfect and now I am always aiming for “good enough.” I have learned to embrace my mistakes as much needed opportunities for growth, blessings in disguise that make me wiser. If I fail at anything, it doesn’t mean I’m a failure, because I am not what I do. Sometimes we win, sometimes we learn. We never lose.

“Your best is going to change from moment to moment: it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz 

2. I’ve let go of the need to be busy all the time.

Being in a rush isn’t a sign of virtue. I have learned to listen to my body, and I no longer feel guilty for doing nothing. I know I sometimes need to recharge the batteries of my body and soul, and I don’t feel like I owe anyone any explanation for doing that.

If I don’t have time for myself, I make it. Watching a good movie, listening to relaxing music, reading a good book, singing, taking a walk to connect with nature—I do whatever makes my heart sing.

“I am a human being, not a human doing. Don’t equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren’t what you do. If you are what you do, then when you don’t…you aren’t.” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer 

Today is another snow day for me and I am unable to head down to SCV to teach my classes. Instead of feeling free and happy, I am filled with guilt for taking the day off. My name is Toni and I am a work addict! I know this sounds completely opposite of what a yoga teacher should be feeling, but truth is, I really am a work addict.

I took a quiz, so it’s true! LOL!

So what do I do now that I know the truth? I start by allowing myself to acknowledge this new information without judgment and to let go of the guilt of not being able to fulfill my commitments. Who-ya! That’s a lot to start with!

Here are a few things that I learned from my quiz.

1. I try to fill as much of my time with work. If I am not teaching I am working on teaching, answering emails, billing, making fliers or thinking about what I should be doing.
2. When I am home I am peppered with quick calls, emails or text about my work. There is always someone or something that needs my attention and that can’t wait. ( in my head)
3. During my leisure activities, I am plagued by guilt when I am not working.

So what do I do with this knowledge about myself? I start by forgiving myself. Then by taking a good look inside myself to find the root of my problem. I asked myself the hard questions; Is this about my ego? My self esteem or self worth? Is it fear? Is is money? It turns out that none of these are the reason I am addicted to my work. It is my deep rooted sense of commitment to others. I put others before myself because I want to help and heal people. I put other peoples happiness before my own. Who-ya again! This is a lot to take in. What this really says is that I am addicted to helping others, which is the very nature of being a yoga teacher.

( Deep breath here)

So how do I continue being a yoga teacher without compromising  myself? I think the answer to this question starts again with my awareness. Now that I know the truth about myself, I must separate my work from myself.  I am going to start by creating a more structured work schedule. For example, setting specific times to answer emails , texts and inquiries. No longer will I get up from dinner to do these things, or worse, do them while I eat! Nor will I keep answering them after dinner and cut into my time with my husband. These steps sound obvious and simple, but they will be a challenge for me.

So my first step of action is to take the day off! I am going to spend time with husband, enjoy the snow- without guilt.

It will be a work in progress, but I am ready to start!

One moment at a time. One step at a time.

Namaste.

”I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship. I see your beauty. I hear your need. I feel your feelings. My wisdom flows from the Highest Source. I salute that Source in you. Let us work together for unity and love.” ~ Gandhi

I love this quote, especially at this time of year.  It serves to remind all of us that we must recognize each other, respect each other and love one another. This week I was reminded of how kind people can be. We have had some rainy/snowy weather and many of my friends checked to make sure I was safe. I was touched that during this busy time of year they took the time to check in with me. This simple act  rejuvenated my faith in humanity. These past few months has been filled turmoil between the news media and all the violence that it has been difficult for me to feel this faith. But today, I woke up full of peace, love, and joy that I thought I would share it- exchange it with you.

Let us take a moment to pause today and feel gratitude for all that is good in our lives and to remember that peace begins within our selves. “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” ~ Gandhi

Merry Christmas!

Namaste.

I have completed my Yin Yoga teacher training and I feel as if a door has been opened that invites me to be more creative in my teaching. Yin Yoga is a very genuine way to practice and allows the student to become the teacher. The student is encouraged to explore the Yin Yoga poses without any boundaries or borders. To bring the pose into their body without the stress of looking a certain way or performing the pose.

I can honestly say that my life has changed with this practice. I feel so liberated and safe in this practice. Judgement, stereotypes, body types, fitness level and age cease to exist in Yin Yoga. In a Yin class, each of us is given the freedom to explore the poses in our own body , to make any adjustments and to let go that part of our ego that compares us to others. Yes, this concept is taught in all other styles of yoga, it is just easier to actually do it in a Yin class.  I find that I simply feel safe, grounded and content; as if my mind can finally let go of all the chatter that keeps me from being my authentic self.

Yin Yoga is a class designed to hold poses anywhere from one to five minutes. The poses are done on the floor and props are encouraged to help the student relax in the pose. The poses are stretches that are designed to get deep into the body and to help the student find a quiet place of stillness. It is in holding the body still that the muscles relax enough so that gravity becomes the resistance. We surrender and use gravity to melt us into the poses. The result is a soft, luscious feeling in the body and a relaxed, calm mind.

If you are interested in trying a Yin class click on the link for my schedule and see where I am teaching it. I would love to see you in a class! It is truly a Yinlicious experience!