Toni Kuhn

Letting Go Part 3

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This week we move on to part three of learning to let go of things that restrict our mental freedom. Number 6 has really resonated with me this week. As I started to pay close attention to my thought process I noticed I seem to “create” or “replay” scenarios over and over. Part of this hamster wheel of thoughts is due to my need to please everyone. I tend to blame myself for other people’s feelings or actions and then I start to criticize and harshly judge myself. Sound familiar? As you can see the previous items on the list of the “things to let go” are intertwined and they often initiate each other. But remember, this is a process and the first step is awareness. We all have had these thoughts at one time or another. Just keep trying to be the best version of yourself everyday. Breathe and let go.


5. I’ve let go of judging.

I know that everyone is on their own journey, and my job is to focus on my own. I also know that each time I am judgmental with people, I’m reacting to something that bothers me about myself. If I believe you are mean, it means I can also be mean; how could I see that in you, otherwise?

“Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgment gives you the power to change them.” ~Byron Katie


6. I’ve let go of making assumptions about what other people feel, want, or think.

I am not them, so there’s no way to know what they’re feeling and thinking.

I stopped making up imaginary scenarios and letting my mind play with me. Each time I find myself disturbed by what people do or say, I know it’s time for a reality check.

From “The Work” of Byron Katie, I’ve learned to examine the thoughts that trouble me and ask myself: “Is that true?” Many of my assumptions likely aren’t. For example, I might assume someone doesn’t like me, when really she’s just having a bad day. Or maybe she’s just shy. Not everyone is the same.

The moment I realize I can’t know what this person thinks, simply because I am not her, my mind gets clear and I am able to meet her with an open heart.

“I found that my unquestioned assumptions were the cause of all war and all peace in my world.” ~Byron Katie

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