Toni Kuhn

A couple of months ago I became a grandma. This has been one of the most exciting times in my life! My grandson has enabled me to be present in my life. When I am with him he needs my full attention and I find that I am in the “zone” with him.

In these moments, he is the center and everything else can wait. I attend to his every need from diaper changes, bottles and entertainment. I watch his every move hoping to get that perfect picture! Lol!

My grandson has helped to ground me and connect me to life. I can feel his heartbeat when I hold him and it centers me. This beautiful baby has given me the gift of mindfulness and serenity. I am filled with love and gratitude.

My time with him has made me think about finding ways to be in the zone in other areas of my life.

We are inundated with tasks, demands, chores and responsibilities. It is a mad rush to get things done and check them off the list. When was the last time you folded laundry and took the time to be aware of what you were folding? Me- never! Lol!

Do you ever find yourself on auto pilot during the day? Not even remembering what you did?

Connecting to what we are doing helps to calm the mind and brings us peace. It allows space for gratitude and happiness. However, tuning into the mind and the present moment can be challenging. Think of it as weight training for your mind. You may only be able to handle a little bit at a time.

When we take time throughout the day to be in the present moment, the mind has a chance to focus and calm down. This in turn helps us to be more relaxed and happy. It also helps to ease the sense of rushing or urgency when you are going about your day. Getting in the zone can actually ease stress and bring you joy.

Here are some things you can do to bring yourself in the zone. These little exercises can be done while you are completing a task. Try these for a few minutes and notice how your mind relaxes. Feel connected to the task.

• Chores:
  • Focus on the task at hand for a few minutes and really concentrate on what you are doing. For example, if you are vacuuming- really feel the rhythm of the vacuum and breathe with it. 
• Walking:
  • As you are walking take some time to feel the ground. Concentrate on each step. From the foot hitting the ground and the opposite foot coming off the ground. Notice your arms.
• Mindful Practice:
  • Sit in a room or outdoors. Look around the space and acknowledge what you see, hear and smell. Feel gratitude for your surroundings.  Next, tune into your breathing. Just sit and breathe for a few minutes, focusing only on your breath.

There are many ways you can practice mindfulness and bring yourself into the moment. It is simply pausing and connecting to what is happening in the now. Take the time and get into the zone.

Namaste

This past week I dove deep into reorganizing my closets. It started out as wanting to make some room to store things for our new grandbaby. We are expecting his arrival any day!👶🏻

So I began weeding through things in my closet that I did not need and I started to feel really focused. I really got into it! However, in order to make room in the downstairs closet, I had to rearrange other closets upstairs. You know how that goes!

Then I brought out my label maker. This is by far my favorite household tool! I love having things in their proper space and seeing that little white label. It is a symbol of my amazing organizational skills! I went through and labeled everything! And boy did I start labeling like crazy! It was so satisfying have things in their place and labeled! (I think I may have a problem- Lol!)🤣

As I was labeling away I started to think about all the different ways we label things in our life. We label our emails, files on our computer and hard copies of important documents (i.e. taxes, medical records…)

I realized that we even label our thoughts and emotions that are stored away in the closets of our mind and heart. We organize them, shift them around and tuck them into spaces. Sometimes we pack them away in the back of our mind or deep in our heart. Have you ever had a thought/emotion pop up and you had no idea where that came from? Or perhaps you have gone to a therapist and they helped you let go of thoughts/emotions by identifying (labeling) them.

What have you been labeling?

Think about how we use emoji’s to label how we are feeling. We are literally putting a label on a reaction to a text, email, Instagram or Facebook post.

As we strive to be healthy we need to take the time to reorganize our thoughts and discard the ones that no longer serve us.  We can then create space for new thoughts and even organize the ones we decide to keep. The same can be done with our emotions. We must clean out old hurts, disappointments and sadness to make room for joy and happiness.  Cleaning out the clutter in the closets of your mind and heart will leave you with plenty of space to store the things you want to keep.

Then perhaps you will have more labels that say joy.

What are you going reorganize and label?

Namaste.

How clean are your floors?

I just purchased an electric steam mop for my tile floors. I had been using a spray mop with washable cleaning pads. I decided to try out this mop because my floors were dirty even though I cleaned them all the time. I felt like my floors had a buildup of grime that was sticking to them.

Last night I tried out my new steam mop with washable pads and it was amazing! I could not believe how much gunk came off my floors. Mind you, this is not a fancy steam mop- it was under a hundred bucks! But wow! My floors look and feel so much cleaner now.

They no longer feel sticky and have a nice sparkle to them.

This idea that dirt and grime can still be on our floors even though we clean them got me to thinking about the gunk that may be stuck inside ourselves. You know- those sticky emotions that won’t seem to leave. The ones that sneak up at night and keep us awake. Anxiety, fear, sorrow, anger…..

How clean are you on the inside? Do you have pent up emotions sticking to you causing you to feel stress or unhappiness?

Perhaps your cleaning method is to meditate, to exercise or to talk to someone about these feelings, yet they are still stuck to you. So we have to ask ourselves- why are these things not working? Why do I have a buildup of these emotions?

I think the answer is to try a different approach- a new cleaning method. Sometimes we try things because we are told they will work for us. The key is to take the idea and then make it work for you. For example- maybe the idea of a 30 minute meditation completely stresses you out. Instead, maybe try a 10 minute walk where you try to focus your mind on your surroundings. It is still meditation- just a different approach.

We are all so beautifully different, and we are constantly changing. Maybe the answer is to discover your own steam mop for your internal gunk.

Bring back your own sparkle.

I am still mopping my floors, I just changed how I am mopping.

Namaste.

“The Reality of life is that your perceptions–right or wrong–influence everything else you do. When you get a proper perspective of your perceptions, you may be surprised how many other things fall into place.”

– Roger Birkman

This is something I have wanted to share for a long time and I hope that you can relate to it on some level. Please note this blog does get a bit personal, but I promise it has a good message for you.

Over that last few years I have been working on my perceptions. I have been working with a Somatic Therapist and she has helped me to understand that my thoughts and nervous system were deeply disturbing my peace. I am a survivor of childhood trauma and my nervous system and mind changed my perceptions and blocked out the trauma so I could survive. Now as an adult, I had to learn to let go of that survival mode so I could truly see my life and actually be present in it.   

One of my coping mechanisms was to control my eating and my weight. I went through many phases of disordered eating, over exercising and body shaming.  I did this for so much of my life that I lost the connection to who I truly was. My perception of my self-worth was determined by the scale and the size of my clothes.

Flash forward to today and I no longer have those thoughts. I have learned to change my perception of my body and I worked on healing my nervous system.

But how did I do this?

Well a couple of things absolutely changed my life and helped me finally truly see my life and my body in present day. In addition to my therapy sessions, I began to look at things differently, and as my perceptions changed my peacefulness increased.

The first thing that changed my life was that I stopped teaching at the gyms and studios during the Covid crisis. Slowly I began to not worry about how my body looked. I did not have the pressure of comparing myself to others or worrying about how my students perceived my body.  I did not have those awful mirrors all around mocking my appearance. LOL! Additionally, I broke up with my scale. I no longer weigh myself- ever! Not even at the doctor’s office. I feel so liberated to no longer be controled by the number on the scale. I finally began to feel comfortable, fit and peaceful. In turn, this has helped me to be at peace with the size of my clothes.

The second thing that changed was my ability to understand my nervous system and my mind. Everyday things would happen, but my mind and nervous system took them to a whole other level of worry and suffering. I did not understand that my body was just in protective mode. Now after several years of work, I know when I begin to spiral and perceive things to be much worse than they are. I can breathe into the situation and change my perception of it.

You see, sometimes we look at a situation and only see the worst parts. But if you change the angle that you are looking at it, you could see it in a different light.

Today in our world we are seeing so much anger, hate and violence. Sometimes I feel like everyone’s nervous system is out of whack! We must protect ourselves from this onslaught of negative energy by cultivating as much peace within ourselves as possible.

Suggestions for more Peace:

• Let go of your own negative thinking.
• Let go of fear.
• Keep your mind and body healthy with exercise.
• Learn to pause and take a breath.
• Step back and look at things from a different angle.
• Remember the formula:
  • Changing Your Perceptions = Peacefulness

As the New Year is approaching I ask that instead of making a big resolution, instead, vow to work on your perceptions. Take small steps to connect to the present moment and the rest will fall into place. Perhaps commit to working on looking at things from different angles all year long.

I wish you a Happy Holiday filled with peace, love and joy!

Namaste,

Toni

Fall is approaching quickly and signaling the beginning of the Holiday season.  This can be a stressful time as we prepare to celebrate with family and friends. Although this should just be a special time, it can also be a bit over whelming. I already find myself creating long to do lists, planning and feeling the pressure of the busy season. I ask myself year after year- How did I get all of this done when I worked full-time and had a family to take care of? I am semi-retired as I only work about 8 hours a week. Plus, my kids are grown and out of the house. So why do I feel even more pressure around the holidays?

I think I am afraid of missing something. As I get older these to do lists are a little harder to manage and navigate through. So how do I cope? I pause and take a moment to get myself in the present moment. Remind myself that everything does not have to be perfect. I take it one day at time, one task at a time, stay present and feel gratitude for everything and everyone in my life.

Gratitude is very healing and grounding. It gives us the opportunity to stop and feel the moment. It soothes the soul, warms the heart and reminds us of what is truly important.

So pause, take a breath- then truly be in the present moment. See what you have and think about what you are grateful for. Even during the busy times, taking a moment to feel gratitude will ease the stress and help you feel calmer. 

Mindfulness tip:

Another way to get in the present moment is to take a moment for mindfulness. Here is a short exercise you can try.

• Find a comfortable seat and close your eyes.
• Take a few cleansing breaths where your exhale is longer than your inhale.
• After you feel settled, open your eyes and look around your space.
• Identify 3 things that you are grateful for. (Examples: your chair, your coffee, the warmth of your home, your blanket, ect…)
• Take one more deep breath with a long exhale.
• Smile and enjoy the rest of your day!

Namaste.

A trigger is a “ stimulus that elicits a reaction“. Some triggers are bad as they may cause you to be upset, sad, angry, anxious or even have PTSD. However, triggers can also be good.

“Yes, some triggers can cause a very positive emotion. Positive triggers are important because they can help individuals stay focused and positive throughout life. “Healing triggers” cause a positive reaction, such as happiness to something that happens”. – The Guest House

“While triggers are often associated with negative emotions or memories, they can also be used to elicit positive emotions and behaviors. For example, a positive trigger could be a particular song or piece of music that evokes feelings of joy or inspiration, leading to positive actions such as dancing or singing along” – Linkedin

As a moon child I have always had an affinity and connection to the moon and it’s cycles. A full moon triggers a deep sense of peace and joy in my heart and brings my mind into sharp focus. I feel completely at ease when I gaze upon it’s beauty.

Image by kjpargeter on Freepik

Here are some examples of positive triggers.

• Music that evokes joy or inspiration
• Scented candles that make you feel calm
• A person smiles at you and you smile back
• A great workout that leaves you feeling strong and invigorated
• Witnessing a beautiful sunset that makes you sigh with peacefulness
• A movie that makes you laugh out loud
• A delicious meal that leaves you completely satisfied
• A hug from someone that warms your heart

There are so many more positive triggers that can be added to this list. The point is to take time to pause and be in the moment. Breathe and try to understand the reaction you are having to a trigger. If a trigger is having a negative effect on you, acknowledge what is happening and then try to let it go. Perhaps turn to a trigger that makes you feel good.

I was recently asked to join a Facebook group that was for weight loss. They wanted me for my fitness/yoga skills. I immediately had a negative reaction to this as it triggered my life long struggle with disordered eating. I knew joining this group would take a toll on my emotional health and well-being, so I kindly turned them down. I am in a good place with my problem and have learned to stay away from my triggers. I no longer allow doctors to weigh me and I stay away from diet programs. I have learned to let go of the triggers that are unhealthy for me.

Are their triggers that you need to let go of?

How can you find ways to invite more healing triggers in your life?

Try this healing mantra:

I am happy,

I am healthy,

I am whole.

The key is to find ways to live healthy and happy. To learn that you do not have live with your negative triggers and you can invite more positive triggers into your life.

Namaste.

Spring is here and along with it comes brighter and sunnier days. I love how the sunlight shines throughout my home. But, oh my goodness, it looks like I haven’t dusted in years! Lol! I take this as a sign it is time for spring cleaning. So I find myself spending a lot time with my swifter and my cordless vacuum.  Armed with purpose and determination we tackle the dust with vigor. And, as each area is cleaned, I feel lighter, accomplished and a little giddy. It is as if I am wiping away more than the dirt. My heart feels lighter and I feel internally cleansed.

Spring cleaning is more than removing dirt, it has a profound effect on us. Decluttering your home helps to declutter your mind.  It is very therapeutic and inspiring. By cleaning and removing the excess from your home you are making room for all the good things to come into your life. Emotionally, you begin to let go of the things you no longer need.  I always feel so much lighter when I pack up the items I no longer use and drop them off at a donation center. My mind feels clearer and more focused. I feel as if I hit the reset button and I am ready to move forward.

Springtime is a time of year when we leave the heaviness of the winter months behind and open ourselves to the lighter sun filled months. It is also the time of year to let go of the emotions that no longer serve you. Let go of any regrets, old hurts or mistakes. Simply wipe them away. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Open yourself to the real you that is no longer weighed down with heavy emotions. A you that is filled with peace and joy.

Start slow. Clean one drawer and watch the magic happen. Step into the light and see how shiny and bright your life is.

Happy Spring!

Namaste.

There comes a time in our lives when we realize we have lived a lifetime.  We find ourselves reflecting on what is important and meaningful in our lives.

The past 8 years have been a whirlwind of self-discovery and change for me. I moved so far from my friends and family and have felt disconnected and lost for a long time. However, during COVID I connected with people more often. I felt loved, supported and even cherished. We all made the time to connect as we felt that innate fear of loss that COVID brought us.

Fast forward to today and I find that we are falling into the old habits of not having enough time to connect with each other. My heart aches from the amount of times I have been told that “I do not have time to visit”, or “I do not have time for a zoom call”, “Or maybe we can chat another day……….

There are times that I have reached out and asked to have a coffee date or share a meal when I am in the same city. I even make sure to plan a few weeks ahead. But still, I get turned down more often than not.

And it’s not that people are ghosting me, or have moved on from me. I am being told they still care and want to see me. But, life is just too busy.

Granted, COVID gave us the gift of time by forcing us to slow down and stay home.  Time was something that was plentiful and even at daunting at times. Additionally, during this time we discovered a lot about ourselves and what we wanted in our lives. For most of us we learned that we wanted to connect more to the people we care about. And, we wanted to let go of the ones that no longer fit into our lives.

So where does this leave us today?

I think we need to find a balance of our busy schedules and make time for the people we want to share our lives with. Perhaps using some of time we spend on social media to connect with someone. I am guilty of falling down the Instagram video rabbit hole. Before I know it, an hour has gone by and I have watched countless of videos! LOL!

So how can we find slivers of time today to connect with people? Connection does not have to be time consuming. It can be as quick as texting an emoji heart to someone.

Here are some more suggestions:

• Send a quick text to say “Hello, I am thinking of you”.
• Mail a card to someone.
• Set a date to talk on the phone once a month.
• Have a zoom call.
• Schedule short visits- like coffee or even a quick visit to someone’s house for a hug. (not all visit have to be drawn out and time consuming)
• Send an email with a short note.

Remember, we moved back to SoCal and we are staying! We love it here and are so happy to be home.

I look forward to connecting to you soon!

Love & Light

It has been 18 years since my mother passed away. I am thinking of her so much and I would like to share the story of our last day together.

The day before she died we went to the laundry mat to wash our comforters. She stayed and watched the laundry while I went and took a yoga class. It was during this yoga class I realized I wanted to be a yoga teacher. I knew in my heart that this is what I wanted to do. After class I picked my mom up and we went to Costco. She was tired so she sat in food court while I picked up a few things. When I finished shopping I came back to the food court and found that she had made friends with an elderly couple. They were having lunch and chatting away. This was so like her! She could make friends anywhere! She introduced me with the pride in her voice that I always just smiled at.

That evening was just another evening. She said she had fun and then she said the oddest thing to me. She said she wasn’t ready to die. She had things she still wanted to do.

She never woke up the next morning.

After 18 years it still hurts and I cry. But, I remember more of the good times, the lessons and the laughter. She loved to dance, do cross words and watch murder mysteries. ( Columbo was our show!)

My mother always believed in me and supported everything I did. She was always full of praise and gratitude. I miss her hugs the most.

In honor of her memory and our last day together, I began another yoga teacher training today. It is a 5 week on line training. I wanted to do this for myself and to get back in touch with my roots as a teacher. I can feel my mom cheering me on.

I love you mom. Thank you for always believing in me. RIP.

Hello there! It has been a while since I have posted so here is a brief summary what I have been up to.

We moved back to So Cal in June and are living in Menifee. Our house is about 20 minutes away from my daughter and her husband. We love living close by and are enjoying spending time with both of them.

The move has kept us busy and we are finally settling into our new place. Our big news is that we are putting in a pool and our construction is set to start in November! So excited! I have wanted my own pool my whole life. We are also putting in a golf putting green, so Doug is very happy too!

Moving in and unpacking requires a little extra cleaning. I have just discovered two items that have made my cleaning easier and more fun. Yes, you read that right, FUN!

As you are aware I am a clean freak! I love cleaning and having my house clean makes me happy. Most of my house has tile or vinyl flooring so I purchased a cordless vacuum. Oh my goodness I love this vacuum! It has made cleaning my floors so much easier! Where have you been all my life?? And don’t get me started on the attachments! Lol!!

Another thing I have discovered is a steamer. Yep, I have hit the mother lode with this little gem! I purchased a white comforter for my bed and it showed so many factory creases and wrinkles. They even stayed after washing it. Being the picky person I am, I could not stand those wrinkles! My iron was useless. Then I thought to try a steamer! Wholly smokes does this thing work! I have been happily (and obsessively) steaming EVERYTHING! I cannot believe how awesome this thing works!

As I was deeply focused on steaming my comforter, I started thinking about all the different types of wrinkles we experience. We are constantly trying to smooth things out in our lives. Whether it’s a relationship, a job, money issues, or trauma, we are always trying to make things better. We even try to get rid of our physical wrinkles. Why do these wrinkles make us so unhappy and even frustrated? I think it’s because in our mind, they are very noticeable and leave us feeling vulnerable. We feel like if we can see them then everyone else can too. But, you know what- no one can see what you are thinking or feeling. Same with those physical wrinkles. You are the only one holding a magnifying glass up to them. We age. We wrinkle. As hard is it may seem, it’s time to accept that!

I want you to think about how much time you spend on trying to remove the wrinkles in your life. Some things have to be smoothed out, but it does not have to be perfect. Can you pause and look at things from a different angle and notice if it’s not so bad? Is there a middle ground where you can live with some of these wrinkles? I have come to terms that all the wrinkles will not come out of my comforter but I have gotten to a much happier place with them. I see how far it has come and how pretty it looks now. I worked out some of the big wrinkles and now the little ones are not as noticeable.

What wrinkles can you live with?

Namaste.