Toni Kuhn

June 13, 2018
by Toni

Learning Acceptance

This past month has been a bit of a roller coaster ride for me. I have been busy with my classes, yoga retreats, clients and my nutritional protocol. It has been a bit of an emotional ride too as I am struggling accept where my body is at this time. You see, I suffer from poor body image and I am a recovered anorexic. I can say recovered because I have been “clean” for 20 years. But, this anorexic mind does not leave you. It brings up feelings of not being pretty enough, skinny enough or good enough. It is something that I live with everyday, just like a recovering alcoholic.

What brought these thoughts to the surface for me recently? Well, as I have been working hard to heal my gut and reverse my auto immune disease; I have had the side affect of losing weight. My body has changed a lot and my clothes do not fit. Usually people love this. For me, it brings up the war in my head. I have to really practice accepting where I am today and not force myself to try to get thinner. A part of my mind knows I am healthy where I am today, but another part of my head thinks that if I get thinner I will be a better person. I will be enough. I will be pretty enough.

Here is an example of this war in my mind. One of my sweet students bought me the cutest pair of yoga pants yesterday. I absolutely love them. BUT- the size is one size smaller than I usually wear. I immediately protested and said there is no way these will fit me. I tried them on and they fit. I still protested. I even drove to the store where she got them and tried on the next size up. They did not look as good as the smaller size. So I kept the smaller size. Now I feel stress and worry that I should of kept the bigger size. What if I gain weight and they don’t fit? What if I bust a seam? But I know on the other side of my brain that I just have to ACCEPT where my body is today. Enjoy the yoga pants and if they don’t fit someday in the future, it is not a big deal. Easier said than done. LOL!

This is a real struggle for me but I am working on accepting myself and my body where it is today. These yoga pants have pushed me into an uncomfortable part of my mind, but I need to be here. I need accept the smaller size and accept that this is where I am today. I need to let go of worrying about what size I will be tomorrow. It is a work in progress and everyday I am learning acceptance.

I am learning to let go of thoughts that cause a war in my mind.

I vow to practice accepting my body where it is today. Practice, practice practice.

Do you feel like you need a break from the worries and struggles of everyday life? Do you have a war of thoughts in your mind?   Are perhaps dealing with a personal issue that you would like to release? A day in the mountains could help you! Come spend the day enjoying nature and exquisite quietness! My mountain retreats will leave you feeling relaxed and nourished.

In my yoga retreats there is always a philosophy discussion and a theme. I teach a day filled with self care and guide you into self introspection. I use music, dancing, singing, mantra work, breath work and yoga poses. I give you a day of just experiencing your life and emotions in a positive way. You leave feeling connected to your self, your loved ones and the world. I always feel so inspired, happy and peaceful after one of my retreats.

If you would like to spend the day with me, click on the Retreats tab for more information on my yoga retreats.


May 10, 2018
by Toni
1 Comment

I am Cured

The definition of cured is ” relieve a person or animal of the symptoms of a disease or condition; to heal, restore to health, make/better.”

Today my RA doc called me with the results of my recent blood tests. All of my inflammation markers are NORMAL and my auto immune disease is cured! Wait what? I have been battling this disease for 8 years.  Over the years I have suffered through flare ups where I was in extreme pain, overwhelming fatigued, stayed in bed and even had to take steroids and pain meds. I have not had a flare up since September 2017! This is amazing! My doctor believes that all of the work I have been doing to heal my gut and body has worked! I still have arthritis in my knees and back, but the horrible debilitating auto immune disease is gone! This is so exciting!
So how did I do it? What really cured me? Honestly, I think it was s series of things that my nutritionist and I worked on. Here is a summary of what we did and are still working on.
  •  I am healing my gut and fixing the imbalance of candida (yeast) and bacteria in my body. This has been a very hard process ( I had to give up coffee and wine!), but results are paying off.
  • I decreased my stress level. I let go of things and people that were causing me stress. This has been very hard for me. I am a people pleaser and I always blame myself when things go wrong.  This is a work in progress, but I am learning to let go of the things I cannot control.
  • I changed my workout routines to accommodate what my body can handle. I have been weight training to support my muscles around the joints that have arthritis. A big thank you to my trainer Michelle at Total Woman Gym!
  • I am eating for my health and for what my body needs. I have learned to let go of the judgement and scrutiny from people who expect me to eat a certain way because I am a yoga teacher. I eat steak and bacon because my body needs it! I buy only high quality meat that is humanly raised.
  • I get regular check ups form my doctors and found doctors that are willing to work with me as I go through this holistic approach to my health. My RA doc is on board with what I am doing and so supportive. I am an advocate for my own health and well-being.
  • I am learning to love and accept myself. To trust myself and express my will. More on this on the next post!


Lastly, I want you to know that whatever you are going through, whether its physical or emotional pain, you can find your path to healing. Trust the process and accept that everyone heals differently and at their own pace. What works for one person, may not work for you. But, there is support out there. There are people that can guide you and help you along the way. Feel free to contact me for advice, and if I can’t help you, I can hopefully point you in the right direction.

I have been sharing the information I have learned about nutrition in workshops. If you missed them and would like to get the information contact me. We can set up a one on one session and go over the information. We can do this in person or via phone or Skype.


Have a beautiful day!



April 16, 2018
by Toni

My Food Relationship & Patience

As I continue on my journey to heal my body, I find that I am learning so much about food and it’s relationship to the body. I recently had a little set back and had an allergic reaction to apples. My mouth and tongue swelled, my throat was sore and hoarse, and my sinuses hurt. I just got apples reintroduced now for about a month and it was an easy food for me to have when I am working. I think my reaction was due to a series of events, but for now, they are off the table.

This reaction really brought my spirits down. I thought I was well on my way to healing. I also found out that I will be on this restricted food protocol for at least 3 more months. After shedding a few tears, and still mourning my long lost relationship with coffee, I was able to regroup and get myself together. You see my husband reminded me that my gut has been unhealthy for most of my life and I have only been on this healing protocol for about 7 months. He opened my eyes to what was so obvious. I need to be more patient with my progress. Sounds so simple when he says it! LOL!

So how do I have patience with my body during this healing process and my relationship with food? How do all of us have patience with things we do in life?

The dictionary describes patience as”  the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.“. This definition has become my mantra. I cannot change the process I am going through, and being upset only makes the situation worse.  I find comfort and solace with this situation by sharing what I am learning. I am hosting nutrition workshops to share what I have learned about food and it’s relationship to the body. I hope to help as many people as I can take control of their health through food. I have discovered that there are many people struggling with their relationship to food and I am learning even more by hearing their stories. I realize I am not alone and that there is comfort in sharing our experiences. Wow, that sounds like an AA meeting! Maybe there is something to that. I mean gut health is a journey, it doesn’t happen over night, there are steps to take, and a support group can go along way in the healing process. When I look at it this way, I feel more confident that I can continue this journey. I have an amazing support network with my husband leading the pack. I can do this with patience, acceptance and compassion for myself.

Four Steps to Patience     by- Jane Bolton Psy.D., M.F.T., Psychology today

 1.” Understand the addictive nature of anger irritation, outrage.  So the first step in growing patience is to get in touch with the addictive quality of the opposite of patience- anger, irritation, blaming, shaming. Usually it starts with a slight discomfort and tensing in the stomach area that goes along with the interpretation that things are not going our way. Then the storyline of thoughts appear.”

2.” Upgrading our attitude towards discomfort and pain.  Pain has its purposes. It pushes us to find solutions.”

3. “Paying attention when the irritation/pain starts. Focusing on what’s actually happening inside you, you can notice the dread of not wanting what’s happening, the resistance.”

4. ” Self talk. The main thing here is to just stop the story. And as we get more and more practice attending to that vulnerability inside without fueling it with our story about how wrong it all is, how wrong they are, how wrong we are, the feeling can pass through in mere seconds.”

If you are interested in joining my Food Support Group, come to one of nutrition workshops. I have a workshop coming up on May 5th. We will be discussing nutrition for weight management and how food sensitivities can cause inflammation and weight gain. I have been working hard to decrease the inflammation in my body and I have lost 14 pounds without effort. Now I am working on maintaining my current weight.( I actually do not want to lose or gain.) For more information click on this flier. 

Wishing you success and patience in all of your journeys.


March 19, 2018
by Toni

Change is Scary

This week I am scheduled for jury duty. You know the drill. Call each day to see if you have to go in. I called Sunday and they said to call back on Monday at noon. I called again, they said to call back later today at 6:30 pm. Oh the agony of not knowing! I am a person who thrives best on order and schedules. This not knowing how my week will play out is pure torture. But then I pause for moment, take breath. Why am I so afraid of being in limbo with my schedule? Is it the not knowing? Is it the fear of the bad weather expected the next few days? Is it how am I going to going to eat? To drive there? It is all of it! But, what it really boils down to,  is being afraid of not only not knowing, but the lack of control that I have in this situation. Again, I am a woman who likes to be in control with all my boxes checked off or scheduled! So, how do I deal with this situation? I reminded myself of how I felt about 6 months ago when I started working with my nutritionist on healing my gut. And how once I let go of my fear, I was able thrive on the program and learn so much about food.

This afternoon I realized that having a change in my schedule is not so bad. This will teach me to go with the flow and know that I am safe, grounded and still in control of many things in my life.

Perhaps this week of jury duty will help me to let go of my dependence on my consistent schedule. To let go of my need to be in control of the flow of my life. Because in the end, fear just paralyzes us and keeps us from growing, evolving and progressing.


Next month I am giving a workshop on Food & Nutrition and it’s effect on inflammation in the body. This is a hot topic right now. Many people have been asking me questions about what I am doing and what am I eating. I am doing this workshop to not only educate you on this topic, but to help you take the fear out of changing your diet. Trust me, I know change is hard, but imagine the possibility of having less joint pain or tummy pain by giving up dairy, gluten and sugar. I know, I said the “S” word! Really give up sugar??? Enter in the fear….. LOL!

But I will make you a deal. I will work on letting go of my fear of schedule changes if you take a moment to consider a change in your diet to progress into a happier healthier you. To blossom into the person you are meant to be.

Take it one step at a time. One change at a time. Let’s let go of fear and see what the flow of life brings us.



Here is the info for my Food & Inflammation workshop. Space is limited and is filling up fast. Food and Inflammation


February 18, 2018
by Toni

Gut Healing and Self-Compassion

My blueberry muffins made with almond flour

This week I had a follow up appointment with my nutritionist. I am in the home stretch of finishing the Candida Cleanse in my gut. I am so excited! This week I was able to put a few things back in my diet. I can now have almond flour, blueberries, unsweetened applesauce and tequila. Of course all of this is moderation, but hey, I got back my blueberry muffins and unsweetened homemade margarita! It has been a very great weekend- LOL!

The next phase in the treatment is to stay on my supplements that support my system and allow my system to rest for a month. Then we will retest and see where my gut is at this point. If the candida and bacteria are gone, then we start the next phase which is to heal my gut with supplements and work on balancing my endocrine system.

This has been a long and difficult  journey but I have learned so much. I truly have a deeper understanding on how food plays a huge role in our over all health. I want to share what I have learned with all of you. This has been such an education for me and I am hungry for more knowledge. I have an ” Food & Inflammation” workshop planned on Sunday April 8 in Valencia. Additionally,  I am planning to take a nutrition certification course later this year so that I can counsel clients privately on their nutrition/fitness goals.

This gut healing journey has not only taught me about how to heal my physical body, it has taught me how have self-care, self compassion and self-love for myself. If you have attended any of my classes this month you know I have been going into great detail about this topic.  Here is some information from Harvard health.

The power of self-compassion

Forgiving and nurturing yourself can set the stage for better health, relationships, and general well-being. Self-compassion yields a number of benefits, including lower levels of anxiety and depression. Self-compassionate people recognize when they are suffering and are kind to themselves at these times, which reduces their anxiety and related depression.

While some people come by self-compassion naturally, others have to learn it. Luckily, it is a learnable skill.

Harvard psychologist Christopher Germer, in his book The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion,suggests that there are five ways to bring self-compassion into your life: via physical, mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual methods. He and other experts have proposed a variety of ways to foster self-compassion. Here are a few:

  • Comfort your body. Eat something healthy. Lie down and rest your body. Massage your own neck, feet, or hands. Take a walk. Anything you can do to improve how you feel physically gives you a dose of self-compassion.
  • Write a letter to yourself. Describe a situation that caused you to feel pain (a breakup with a lover, a job loss, a poorly received presentation). Write a letter to yourself describing the situation without blaming anyone. Acknowledge your feelings.
  • Give yourself encouragement. If something bad or painful happens to you, think of what you would say to a good friend if the same thing happened to him or her. Direct these compassionate responses toward yourself.
  • Practice mindfulness. This is the nonjudgmental observation of your own thoughts, feelings, and actions, without trying to suppress or deny them. When you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, accept the bad with the good with a compassionate attitude.

Take a moment each day to honor yourself. To do something just for you. Just 5 minutes can go a long way in making you feel happier, energized, and balanced.

“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.”
—Christopher Germer, The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion


February 1, 2018
by Toni

Yoga Retreats

I am taking reservations for my 2018 Yoga Retreats. My Yoga Retreats are on one Saturday a month and run from May-October. They are located at my home studio in Pine Mountain Club and are 10am-5pm.

Come join for for a relaxing day in the mountains! Just click on the link to see the schedule.

2018 Yoga Retreat Schedule

May 19 is SOLD OUT!

Please note payment in full must be received to reserve your spot. These retreats sell out fast! You can mail your payment with this enrollment form Retreat Enrollment and Waiver Form to my PO BOX,  or give it to me in person.

If you have any questions you can contact me below.

“Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.” — Albert Einstein

The mountains are calling and I must go.” — John Muir

January 15, 2018
by Toni


Today I packed my car with all of the safety things I need to have for winter driving. This act of ensuring I have the things to keep myself safe in the event of being stranded or stuck in the snow has made me feel very empowered. I have an ice scrapper, flash light, extra food, extra water, extra clothes and much more. I am ready. I can take care of myself. I have nothing to be afraid of. And when in doubt, I can simply choose to stay wherever I am. Whether I choose to stay home and not chance the roads coming into work, or if I choose to stay over in SCV and not drive home; the power is mine. I am prepared.

This feeling of empowerment is my work this year. I am learning to take back my personal power (my will) and be the strong woman that I know I am. You see, I do not have a strong will, but I am learning to nourish it and develop it. I have learned to say ” No”, even though it was very hard. I have learned to trust myself and my decisions. I have come to accept that not everyone is going to like me, and that’s okay.

My journey started with this gut healing protocol I have been on for 6 weeks. I am half way through it and I can feel myself getting stronger. You see, your will is connected to your digestive system. More specifically, it is your 3rd Chakra- the Solar Plexus. It is located in the upper part of your belly. “The main function of this energy center is to provide actual momentum to move forward and realize personal desires and intentions in the world. It plays a fundamental role in the development of personal power.” –

Some of the main meanings associated with this Chakra are your will/personal power, making decisions, self-assurance/confidence and personal identity. All of these elements have come into light for me. I feel a sense of empowerment with my eating- even though it is so restricted right now. I have discovered new foods and recipes. I have taken charge of this nutritional journey and my body is feeling better. I have the power to choose how I eat and I am not letting anyone or anything influence what I feel is right for me. Sounds funny when all I crave is a damn muffin and I can’t eat one right now! But I am choosing not to eat it so I can heal my gut. Make sense? In 6 more weeks that damn muffin is MINE! LOL!

Now it is your turn to observe yourself. Are feeling a lack of empowerment? Are you feeling helpless? Do you lack direction or purpose? Perhaps you have been manipulative or misusing your power? These are signs that your 3rd Chakra could be imbalanced. But don’t fret. No one is perfect. Awareness is the first step. Take back your power by educating yourself and taking the steps towards a happier, healthier you.  I did, and I am feeling great!

Here is a great resource from Yoga Journal to help balance your solar plexus.



December 20, 2017
by Toni


I  recently have been thinking a lot about the people in my life that I love, cherish and trust. My husband, my kids, my in-laws, my friends and my yoga/fitness students. Each and everyone in my life shares in an intimate connection with me. How cool is that? I am blessed to share my thoughts, love and teachings with so many wonderful people. I often remind myself of this when I am deeply missing my mother. She had such a light and always expressed her love to her family. Not a day went by that she did not tell me how much she loved me, appreciated me and was proud of me. She doted on her grandchildren and even remembered to to express her love to our pets. At Christmas she would make sure everyone had a stocking to open up- even the pets! She kept a tiny Christmas Tree in her room that brought her so much joy. My mother taught me how to love freely and unconditionally. She was always making sure that our home was open to anyone who wanted to come over and for anyone who needed us. Even when we had no money, she still tried to help others and bring them joy around the holidays. I miss her smile, her wonderful laugh, and most of all her warm embrace.


So today, I am reminded that family extends further than the bloodline. The urban dictionary defines family as “a group of people, usually of the same blood (but do not have to be), who genuinely love, trust, care about, and look out for each other. Not to be mistaken with relatives sharing the same household who hate each other. REAL family is a bondage that cannot be broken by any means.”

Here is my family:

My husband- he is my rock, my best friend, and loves me enough to stick by me even during the toughest of times. He is my one only. My forever love.

My kids-  have grownup into kind, loving and generous adults. They continue to amaze me with their intellectual minds, big hearts and beautiful souls. They are my greatest joy and the light of my life.

My brother- has always been there for me. I know I can count on him. We share the pain in losing our mother, but we also share in the joy of her memory. We have a sibling bond and a love that is genuine.

My in-laws-are  kind, loving, supportive and have opened themselves into my life with unconditional love. I can always count on them.

My friends- some of my friends have been in my life since I was a teenager ( just like my husband) and some of my friends are more recent. But all of them share space in my heart and have become a genuine part of my family.

My yoga/fitness students- continue to amaze me with thier openness to my teachings and their dedications to my classes. I have a deep sense of gratitude for their trust in me and for allowing me to share in their physical and emotional health.

This holiday I feel surrounded by my family in all areas of my life. And for this, I am grateful and humbled. I only hope that I can be that light in their life, just as my mother was.

” I honor the the place in you which the entire universe dwells.

I honor the place in you which is love, of truth, of light, and of peace.

When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me…

We are One.”

Peace. Love. Joy.



November 21, 2017
by Toni

Goodbye Coffee

I recently did some new food sensitivity labs to help me on this quest to heal my gut. I have had food sensitivity tests before and that is why I do not eat dairy, eggs, gluten, soy, bananas, oats, corn, cane sugar or bakers yeast. Hence, this is why I have adopted a Paleo friendly diet. Eliminating these from my diet has greatly improved my arthritis and over all health. However, I have still been having inflammation in my body, especially in my mouth.  This new test showed food sensitivities directly related to my gut ( the mouth is a part of the digestive system). Several foods came up highly reactive which I have to give up for 6 months, and some came up moderately reactive which I have to give up for 3 months.  I won’t go into detail about all the foods I have to give up or monitor( because it is a lot), but I will share a few.

Coffee turned out to be highly reactive in my body. When I heard this I think I went into shock. I thought, “There is no way I can do this, I LOVE coffee”! Tis’ the season for coffee! Not only is it yummy, it is also a social thing. I seriously mourned having to give up coffee. I felt depressed, frustrated and just plain cranky! And then I snapped out of it. I realized I have come so far in my quest to decrease the inflammation in my body, I can do this. So I tried tea. I found a chai tea that I like and ordered it in bulk off of Amazon!

Here are some of the other heavy hitters that I have to give up.

Tomatoes ( I am Italian, OUCH! LOL)

Vanilla  ( yikes, it’s the Holidays!)

Onions ( I am okay with this one as it really hurts my mouth)

Peanuts ( yikes again! This was my go to food!)

My nutritionist is monitoring me carefully and has created a gut healing protocol that includes supplements along with omitting foods from my diet.

My husband gets the award for the most patient and supportive. I have been playing around with dinner recipes and he still eats them even when they turn out crappy! He just smiles and says ‘Look at it this way, we wanted to change up our meals and now we are. Think of it as an adventure”. Isn’t he a trooper? I do make sure he has snacks and foods that he can enjoy. Its really only dinner that he suffers through! I baked him is favorite cookies this weekend as a thank you and he was very happy!

He had his cookies with his coffee…….

I miss you coffee. I hope we can get back together in 6 months, I know this is not goodbye forever even if we can only see each other a few times a week.


November 2, 2017
by Toni

Balancing Life & Body

I recently started working with a nutritionist to correct the imbalance in my gut. We have begun protocols to heal my gut to help decrease the inflammation in my body. This is going to take a long time, but in the end, I may be able to go off of hormone replacement therapy and my arthritis medication. I have noticed positive changes in my energy level and the way my body feels.

I have been working with my wonderful personal trainer, Michelle to strengthen my shoulder from injury/arthritis that lasted over a year. I am finally feeling stronger and my muscle tone is coming back! Yay!

As you can see I have been working very hard to improve my health. To be in a place where the inflammation is my body is under better control. This can only happen if I work from the inside out. From my gut, to my mind, and then my exterior body. I really thought I was doing well, but then the universe had other plans for me.

“Slow Down!” is the message I just received.

You see, I tripped and fell very hard last Saturday. ( Red Alert; Do Not Text and Walk! ) I hurt my knee pretty bad and my doc is concerned about the meniscus being damaged. My first thought was, ” Oh no, I do not have time for this!” and “What about my workouts and my goals?” Then after deep contemplation, I realized that I am pushing myself too hard. I work a lot and I have been trying to add in more workouts in for myself.

This fall was a message for me to take a look at the imbalances in my life, not just in my body.

Wait a minute.


I thought I was supposed to take time for myself. Working out makes me happy and I feel stronger. Yes, they do, and I should keep doing them when my knee heals. But, I think the lesson here is to look at my life, my work, my family and find the balance there. You see, I am a work alcoholic. I just finished a long season of yoga retreats and I have not stopped pushing for last 6 months. Already I am deciding the next project to start and the next training, the next video, and the next… ( you get the picture).

“Balance your life”,  I hear the message. 

So this inconvenient knee injury is a lesson for me to slow down,  pay attention and be in the moment. it’s time to balance my life, my gut and my body. I know this will lead me to a sense of wholeness and well-being.

“Accepting the reality of change gives rise to equanimity.” – Allan Lokos