This is something I have wanted to share for a long time and I hope that you can relate to it on some level. Please note this blog does get a bit personal, but I promise it has a good message for you.

Over that last few years I have been working on my perceptions. I have been working with a Somatic Therapist and she has helped me to understand that my thoughts and nervous system were deeply disturbing my peace. I am a survivor of childhood trauma and my nervous system and mind changed my perceptions and blocked out the trauma so I could survive. Now as an adult, I had to learn to let go of that survival mode so I could truly see my life and actually be present in it.   

One of my coping mechanisms was to control my eating and my weight. I went through many phases of disordered eating, over exercising and body shaming.  I did this for so much of my life that I lost the connection to who I truly was. My perception of my self-worth was determined by the scale and the size of my clothes.

Flash forward to today and I no longer have those thoughts. I have learned to change my perception of my body and I worked on healing my nervous system.

But how did I do this?

Well a couple of things absolutely changed my life and helped me finally truly see my life and my body in present day. In addition to my therapy sessions, I began to look at things differently, and as my perceptions changed my peacefulness increased.

The first thing that changed my life was that I stopped teaching at the gyms and studios during the Covid crisis. Slowly I began to not worry about how my body looked. I did not have the pressure of comparing myself to others or worrying about how my students perceived my body.  I did not have those awful mirrors all around mocking my appearance. LOL! Additionally, I broke up with my scale. I no longer weigh myself- ever! Not even at the doctor’s office. I feel so liberated to no longer be controled by the number on the scale. I finally began to feel comfortable, fit and peaceful. In turn, this has helped me to be at peace with the size of my clothes.

The second thing that changed was my ability to understand my nervous system and my mind. Everyday things would happen, but my mind and nervous system took them to a whole other level of worry and suffering. I did not understand that my body was just in protective mode. Now after several years of work, I know when I begin to spiral and perceive things to be much worse than they are. I can breathe into the situation and change my perception of it.

You see, sometimes we look at a situation and only see the worst parts. But if you change the angle that you are looking at it, you could see it in a different light.

Today in our world we are seeing so much anger, hate and violence. Sometimes I feel like everyone’s nervous system is out of whack! We must protect ourselves from this onslaught of negative energy by cultivating as much peace within ourselves as possible.

Suggestions for more Peace:

• Let go of your own negative thinking.
• Let go of fear.
• Keep your mind and body healthy with exercise.
• Learn to pause and take a breath.
• Step back and look at things from a different angle.
• Remember the formula:
  • Changing Your Perceptions = Peacefulness

As the New Year is approaching I ask that instead of making a big resolution, instead, vow to work on your perceptions. Take small steps to connect to the present moment and the rest will fall into place. Perhaps commit to working on looking at things from different angles all year long.

I wish you a Happy Holiday filled with peace, love and joy!

Namaste,

Toni