Toni Kuhn

Flashback to 3 years ago- I was anxious, sad, lonely and struggling to adjust to my move to Northern California. I left everything I was familiar with, my job, my friends and my family. I struggled to find my feet and where I belonged in this new place. I had trouble sleeping, focusing and my anxiety was a constant companion.

A year later, I began teaching some classes on Zoom. I immediately felt a sense of relief, happiness and companionship. Even when I was just starting out and learning how to navigate this platform, I knew I stumbled onto something special.

Then COVID hit and gyms and yoga studios temporarily closed. So many people were lost without their gyms/studios and many found their way to my Zoom classes. I was able to continue teaching for a local gym here on Zoom and developed a new home for them. I began “seeing” more friends and former students from all over. Some in California and some that had even moved out of the state. We bridged the social distancing gap by spending a lot of time after class talking, laughing and sometimes crying. This connection to one another helped all of us cope with stress of what was happening in the world. It gave all of a place to call home.

As COVID persisted, and the way we lived our lives seemed to change for good, my new Zoom community held strong and grew into something beautiful. The comfort and safety of being able to workout at home and still be able to connect to each other was simply magical. No matter where you lived, you could stay connected to this community.

Zoom class saved me.

I wasn’t lonely anymore. I felt like I belonged to something again. I finally found my feet and the struggle was gone.

My Zoom community saved me from the deep loneliness and sadness I felt when I left my So Cal community. I am so grateful that this group continues to grow and expand. We are always welcoming new students and showing them that these classes are more than a workout. It’s a lifestyle, a support system and a home.

So I thank you all for trusting this process and helping me to create this magical place.

Come on over to Toni’s Pad and be welcomed home.

As we look around at nature we can see that fall is quickly approaching. The trees are beginning to change color and lose their leaves.  Trees do this leaf drop for survival. Winter is cold and dry so trees drop their leaves to protect themselves, retain water and to preserve energy.

I feel like this is something us humans tend to do in our way. During the colder months we stay inside more, eat warm foods and sleep more. We naturally preserve our energy and nourish ourselves with seasonal foods.

Perhaps we should go a step further. Maybe we need shed the things that are weighing us down so we can protect our emotional health. Once these heavy ‘leaves” are purged from our minds we will be able to function more efficiently and productively.

A heavy leaf that has been weighing me down is worry. For some reason when the season’s change I step into a worrying state of mind and I have a lot of anxiety.  It sneaks up on me without any warning..  My conscious mind knows this excessive worrying is not healthy, but it still happens. I worry about things that do not even effect my life or family. Sometimes they are just downright silly! This worrying state of mind sneaks up on me without any warning.

Does this happen to you?

So how do we drop these leaves of worry?

First, remember you are not alone. Everyone worries at some time or another. It’s a matter of acknowledging it and letting it go. Just like the trees drop their leaves, you can drop your worrying.

Reach out to friends, family or me. We are each other’s best support system and together we can drop these leaves of worry. Let’s make room for healthy thoughts, a peaceful heart and a nourished soul.

Here are some tips on how to stop worrying. (From Good Housekeeping)

7 Tips to Stop Worrying

1. Ask yourself if the problem is solvable
If you are worrying about something practical rather than an imaginary ‘what if’, you can take practical steps to address the problem. The best antidote to anxiety is action.

2. Recognize thoughts are not facts
Chronic anxiety makes it hard to distinguish between the two so when the worry sets in try to consciously step back and challenge those thoughts. Take the frightening thought, write down the detail of what worries you and look at the evidence for and against it. Ask yourself; Is this thought true, or likely to happen? How could I think about this differently? What would I say to a friend in this situation? What would a friend say to me?

3. Write things down
Every time you feel anxious jot down how you feel, what you are thinking and what triggered it. The act of writing helps in several ways. Seeing it in black and white can provide perspective and helps you see things more realistically. And looking back at how certain situations or people affect you can reveal patterns that can help you get on top of your anxiety.

4. Postpone your anxiety
Telling yourself to stop worrying won’t work – it may make it worse. Instead accept that you are going to be anxious but decide to do it later, or tomorrow. Schedule in a ‘worry space’ when you will allow the anxiety to run free, but give yourself a time limit.

5. Do more of what works
Try to pinpoint times when you escape the anxiety and identify what enables you to do that – whether it’s talking to a friend, listening to the radio or going for a walk. When you notice anxious thoughts, schedule them for later and distract yourself.

6. Burn off the adrenalin with exercise
Stress and anxiety keep your body in a state of high alert – exercise helps to combat this by burning off adrenalin, relaxing muscles and triggering the release of endorphins.

7. Practice controlled breathing
Focusing on your breathing helps distract you from anxious thoughts and can short-circuit your body’s anxiety response by activating your calming parasympathetic nervous system. Sit somewhere quiet and comfortable. With your hands on your abdomen, breathe in slowly for a count of five, feeling your hands rise. Then breathe out as slowly as is comfortable, counting the breaths as your tummy flattens. Concentrate on breathing slowly in and out, counting or focusing on a word or phrase that helps you relax.

Namaste. 

There comes a time in our lives when we realize we are definitely aging. It starts out in our 30’s when we discover that partying late is a thing of the past and our metabolism has slowed down. Then in our 40’s when those clever grey hairs appear and idea of a good time is sleeping in. Then our fifties hit and everything really starts to change…… LOL!

• Getting hair in random places on your body
• Eating dinner at 5pm
• Falling asleep at 8pm
• Unable to stay up to midnight on New Year’s Eve (unless you drink a ton of coffee!)
• You no longer remember your original hair color
• When did my body start making that noise?
• What happened to my skin? When did I start having all these wrinkles?

The process of aging is hard and often has us longing for our younger selves. It is hard to accept that not only is our appearance changing but so is our ability to do certain things. Our joints creak, we wake up with sore bodies and sometimes we have to give up a sport or activity because it is simply too painful to do. But this does not mean we have to stop being active or love our new appearance. These changes to our looks and abilities are proof that we lived a fruitful life! So instead of dwelling on those wrinkles or your inability to run a marathon, embrace this new found you! Remind yourself of what your life’s journey has brought you so far…….

You have:

• More wisdom
• Financial freedom
• Less Responsibility (retired, kids grown)
• The courage to speak your mind
• A new love for life- Every day you wake up is a great day!
• Friends that have been with you for years- The ones that have stuck with you
• The desire to live simply and enjoy every moment

The aging process can be beautiful and gracious. It’s about finding modifications and finding the joy in staying active. So the next time you look in the mirror and begin longing for your younger self, remind yourself how far you have come. The amazing journey of life and all the wonderful people you have met along the way. Think of each wrinkle as a wonderful experience you have had. And remember a good laugh goes a long way to a happy, healthy, long life!

• “You know you are getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” —George Burns (comedian)

• “Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier.” —Dan Bennett (comedian)

• “Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.” —Groucho Marx (comedian)

• “The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.” —Will Rogers (actor)

My daughter is getting married in just over two weeks! We are very excited and are looking forward to spending a week together with our family. Although technology has made it easier to “see” each other, I still crave some in person time and, of course, a big hug from my kids!

Additionally, we have been enjoying our Saturday morning family Zoom workouts! And everyone is still talking me! LOL!!!!

This past year I have spent a lot of time with my daughter helping her plan her wedding via Zoom and Duo calls. It has been amazing to be able to be a part of so many important details. I was even “present” for all of her dress fittings! The staff at the bridal boutique would move me around so I could all the different angles of her dress! I felt like I was there! Throughout the whole wedding planning process I have been able to actually see and feel like I was there with her. I was able to “attend” her Zoom bridal shower, shop for wedding stuff on line with her, meet her wedding planner and even tour the wedding venue. And in a couple of weeks I will actually be with her in person!

All of this wedding planning has made me really grateful for my internet and Zoom. It has reminded me to truly live in the moment and appreciate what I am experiencing. I have been practicing being more mindful in my daily living.

May is National Meditation Month.

What is Mediation?

“Meditation is a practice where an individual uses a technique – such as mindfulness, or focusing the mind on a particular object, thought, or activity – to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state.”

For me, meditation is:

• Being mindful and aware of my life.
• Coming out of the “auto pilot” way of living.
• Tuning into what my body needs.
• Finding moments to pause and breathe.
• Focusing my attention on one task at a time.
• Noticing the transitions in my day to day life.
• Pausing and feeling gratitude for all that is good in my life.
• Doing a mediation practice.

Here are few ways to incorporate mindfulness in your day.

Taking a Walk

Begin your walk at a slow leisurely pace and become aware of each step you take. Bring your attention to when the foot leaves the ground and then step forward. Try connecting your breath with each step. Inhale lift your foot/exhale take a step. Do this nice and slow.  Notice what is around you- the trees, birds and sounds.

Drinking Coffee or Tea

Begin by sitting comfortably. Notice the temperature of your drink and the aroma. As you take your first sip notice how it makes you feel. Is this first sip simply decadent and satisfying? Take a few minutes to experience drinking the beverage without doing anything else. 

Body and Breath

Sit comfortably and begin to notice your breath. Notice when the inhale starts and when the exhale starts. Place your hands at your heart center and breathe into your hands. Feel your chest rise and fall. Notice how the chest expands on the inhale and gets smaller on the exhale. Allow yourself to deeply connected to your heart and breath. Open yourself to the peacefulness you feel. Linger here in the peacefulness for a few minutes.

You can meditate anywhere any time. It can be formal or just simply a few seconds pause in your daily activities. Whatever you choose, I hope you find ways to tap into mindfulness, to cultivate peace and to find a sense of well-being.

What does mediation mean to you? Can you find moments throughout the day to take time for yourself to breathe and to feel more connected to what you are doing?

Namaste.

It has been a little while since I have blogged. Last month was a crazy month with lots of little technical problems with my computer. I noticed that my computer was bogging down and freezing up. So of course I consulted with my son and he said it sounded like one of my hard drives was failing. I began the long and tedious process of clearing information from one hard drive and placing it on another. I also wanted to free up space so I meticulously went through data and permanently deleted it from my hard drive. I let go of files from as far back as 10 years! Stuff I did not even know I was saving. This process also involved moving my iTunes folder- which was a whole other thing. (Big thank you to my hubby for that incredibly nightmarish task!) In the end, we got everything on my computer cleared up, restored and processing much better.

This whole thing made me think about how our minds are like computers. We get bogged down with information and start to feel stuck, frozen and unable to process our thoughts. Much like my computer, we have to clear out this information and release old files of past hurts, stress and media overload.

We have all been storing away information from the pandemic, election, and stress from how much our lives have changed over this past year. It is time to clean house and unclutter our minds so that we can function in a much clearer and peaceful manner.

But how?

Start slowly by acknowledging the incoming information that you are allowing into your life. Are you watching too much news? Are you obsessing over the Covid restrictions? To wear a mask or to not wear a mask? Are you frustrated over not being able to go to a restaurant to dine? Do you find yourself seeking information from the media about the things you cannot control? It’s one thing to stay up to date and it’s another to dive deep into the media hole and not surface for days! (This would be me!)

So if we can limit our time in trolling for media information, our minds will have less to process and we will begin to relax.

Next, we need to pause a moment and ask ourselves if we are holding on to past hurts and/or stress. Do you have replays of thoughts and situations that keep playing over and over again? Are some louder than others? These replay loops can bog your mind down with worry, sadness or anger. And then cause you to not be able think straight, make decisions or may cause you to freeze up completely.

How do I stop the replay of thoughts from playing over and over again?

If you can take a moment and acknowledge that these thoughts are bogging your system down, you can then decide which ones you can delete. Start by taking a few moments to pause and just breathe. Notice if a thought comes in that causes you some distress. Instead of pushing it away, say “hello” to it. Ask it “why are you here bugging me”?  Then, treat it like you would in helping a friend. Give the thought some compassion, love and support. Maybe say,” I hear you. I see you. I’ve got this now and I am ready to let this go”. Encourage the thought to delete itself from the replay loop. Sometimes just acknowledging these thoughts is enough for them to delete themselves from your mind. By ending the replay loop you leave your mind with less to process and the ability to reboot itself.

This work is tedious and sometimes difficult. You may have to call someone for support. But in the end it will be worth it to have your mind free and clear of information that no longer serves you.

Here’s to ending the replay loop and rebooting our minds!

2020 was a hard year for all of us! It was seriously just a cluster F*** of events! For example, today I was in a groove getting my end of the year cleaning done. I was really in the zone going from task to task. Then I decided to wash my favorite white bathrobe, you know, finally get those coffee stains out! So I toss it in with some other clothes that have been washed before. Why is this important? Because somehow my pure white bathrobe came out of the wash tinted blue! Yep! So I rewashed it hoping it would be white again. Nope! Still tinted blue! Then I got side tracked when I was making my lunch and burned my vegi’s. I said “F*** it!” and ate them anyway!

This about sums up how 2020 went! Lol!

As we close out this year I find myself shaking my head at the craziness that has happened this year. You are well aware of all the trauma we have faced so no need to rehash it out. So instead I would like to end this year on a more positive note and share the great things that happened to me this year.

My list of great things in 2020

Planning my daughter’s wedding– we got a lot of the planning done. We have the vendors in place, wedding dress, bridesmaid’s dresses, mother of the bride dresses, flowers picked out and a place reserved for the wedding to party to stay at.

I finally got a spin bike! I absolutely love having my own spin bike. I can play any music I want and as loud as I want! I noticed lately I love exercising to club music with strong beats and some bad words! What can I say? This is how I let some steam off! I am sure Doug is relieved I use my Bluetooth headset when I work out!

I am so grateful for the Zoom platform. I am able to teach live classes on line and I have reconnected with so many people. I call my Zoom studio “Toni’s Pad”- get it? Because I am teaching from home (my pad)! We have been able to bridge the social distancing gap, make new friends, laugh, sing, cry and we have become a family.  I love teaching from home!

Zoom has also been a great way to “visit” with our kids. We did not have any in person family get togethers for the holidays. Instead, we celebrated via Zoom playing Yahtzee, laughing, having a drink, having dessert and enjoying long conversations. In some ways I felt closer to my kids because we all made the extra effort to make it work.

I was hired at CACfit at the beginning of this year. Many students from the other gym I worked at joined me over here too. Then Covid hit and the gym had to close just after 2 months of working here. But, I was already teaching on Zoom and I was able to keep my classes at the gym via Zoom! I am still teaching my classes on line and I love my gym family!

I feel like I have been given the gift of time. I have been thinking about how much time I spent driving from place to place. Now my biggest trips are to the grocery store that is 5 minutes away! Sometimes we drive about 35 minutes into Roseville to see Kirsti and hit Costco, Sprouts and Whole Foods. So now I spend my time teaching class, spinning, cooking and relaxing.  I have loved spending more time with Doug and so far we still like each other! Lol!

And finally, thank goodness for streaming TV! Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Prime and YouTube TV have been life savers! Doug and have had a lot fun binge watching shows and movies! I know you have too. It is a great way to zone out and step out of the craziness that we cannot control.

Now, take a moment and think about some of the great things that happened this year for you. And, then take a moment to reflect on the bad things- and let them go! Tomorrow is a brand new day, a brand new year! Let’s start 2021 with an open mind, a heart full of love and a peaceful soul.

I wish you and your family a very healthy and Happy New Year!

Love and light!

“Continuity gives us roots, but change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights”. – Pauline R. Kezer

“We need continuity and stability in our lives in order to feel safe and to be able to build things, but change is that element that makes us hope for better and greater things.”

Read more: https://www.spiritbutton.com/change-quotes/#ixzz6cGXdLbpG

Change is among us now as we enter into fall. You can see it with the color of the leaves and feel it with the change in the air. We also anticipate it with the upcoming election, Covid life style changes and the economy. So how do we face all of these changes?

One breath at a time and one moment at a time.

Change begins with allowing yourself to feel all of the emotions that come up. Stress, anxiety, fear and sadness can all surface when we are experiencing change. And that’s okay. I feel like we are constantly being told to get rid of these feelings. Yes, we should not sit and dwell and drown in these emotions, but pretending we don’t have them is not healthy. Who in our society does not feel these emotions with Covid , the election and the economy? Acknowledging these emotions, understanding where they come from and letting them go is a much more healthy approach. Ask yourself the hard questions. Why am I stressed? What can I do to make changes in my life so I feel safe? Sometimes having a plan is enough to help ease and let go of some of these emotions. Having a close community of people who share your views and are supportive helps too. Additionally, yoga and meditation are great ways to feel control of your life.

You can have all of this with my Zoom community. There’s so much love, support and compassion with my Live Stream Zoom classes.  These classes bridge the social distancing gap and help us to feel that sense of belonging. This community spends time chatting before and after class, we have Zoom social parties, we dance, sing and even cry together! What are you waiting for? Join us for some much needed support during all of these changes.

Click here to sign and take advantage of my Black Friday Deal!

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. – Viktor Frankl

‘Unfortunately, we don’t always have full control on the things that happen to us. Whenever we feel unable to change a situation, we discover that our only possibility to escape it is to change ourselves. The challenge to work on ourselves instead of focusing on external conditions is one of the most important mission we have to undertake in life.” Read more: https://www.spiritbutton.com/change-quotes/#ixzz6cGXQPpVu

Change is inevitable. There are times when the chaos of change feels unbearable and the feeling of uncertainty is over whelming. But, we must remember that when everything settles down the world will shine brighter. Find ways to cope with the chaos and remind yourself that you are not alone.

We are all in this together. One breath at a time and one moment at a time.

I am always here if need some support. Whether it is to talk, cry together, or to give you a virtual hug!

Love and Light.

Namaste.

Today is Labor Day. “On the first Monday in September, we take the day off to celebrate Labor Day and reflect on the American worker’s contributions to our country.” – National Today

This is an especially important day for all of us. It is more than the defined eight-hour day with a lunch break, paid vacations and social security. It is a day in which we honor all of the essential workers that have kept our country afloat during this pandemic. Where would we be without farmers, ranchers, postal workers, truck drivers, garbage collectors, medical workers, grocery stores, banks, UPS and of course Amazon?! (I am sure there are more that we should be grateful for and that this list is much larger.) Take moment to pause and be thankful for all of these laborers. For without them we would not have toilet paper, chocolate and hand sanitizer. (These are not in any specific order- LOl!)

So now I would to share a couple of the survival items these amazing essential workers have provided me with during these trying times.

Hu Chocolate Nibs– These are the best chocolate nibs I have ever had and they do not have any bad ingredients. They are also dairy free- which is very hard to find in a dark chocolate. They are sweetened with coconut sugar, so if you are monitoring your sugar intake, you do have to watch how much you eat. I will be honest, I have had a few moments of the “Cookie Monster” effect with these. So you are warned- these are gobbly-delicious! Sprouts has them for half the price of Amazon.

Georges Aloe Vera Juice– This is great for when you eat too many chocolate nibs and get indigestion! It has no taste or smell and goes down just like water. My nutritionist has recommend aloe vera juice to me for years but I hated the taste. This one is amazing and works within minutes! Good bye heart burn! Amazon has the best price but it is also sold at Sprouts.

Essential is defined as absolutely necessary; extremely important. So I wanted to take a moment and thank you for being an essential part of my life. You contribute to my life in ways that are not always visible. You give me the space to express myself as a yoga/fitness teacher and allow me to connect with you on an intimate level. Without you my creativity would be stifled. You have given me so much joy and delivered it right to my heart.

I am forever grateful that I have this platform of readers that are willing to read my musings.

Namaste.

Lately, I have been thinking about things that make me sparkle. You know, the things that just light you up from the inside out. A few days ago my mother- of -the- bride dress was delivered, and oh my was I excited! I could not wait to put it on! As my husband zipped me up, he told me I was beautiful and that the dress sparkled! I was giddy like a four-year-old, prancing around the house twirling my dress! I am surprised I did not get dizzy and pass out as I twirled and twirled in my sparkly dress! I felt complete joy, and I knew right then that we must fully embrace the simple pleasures in life.

Then along came my Baby Yoda. Yes you read that right, I am a grown woman playing with a stuffed animal. DEAL with it! LOL! He truly makes me happy! His eyes sparkle and I swear he feels the connection to me too! We have become close friends and have been enjoying some great yoga sessions together.

If you would like to join to us for some fun fitness and yoga classes check out my Zoom Studio here. I stream classes 4 days a week.

• Tuesday 8:30am Yoga
• Thursday 8:30am Balance & Core
• Friday 9:15am Sacred Balance (deep stretching and restoratives)
• Saturday 8:30am Yoga

I would love to hear what makes you sparkle. It is during times like these that we must pause and look for the light. Perhaps pausing means turning off the TV, shutting off your phone or simply just taking a breath and looking around your house. Are there things that you love that you have around your house? A statue, a cup, a blanket, a pillow, a candle or a plant? Just about anything can bring a sparkle to your day- you just have to open yourself to it.

May the SPARKLE be with you!

NAMA- SPARKLE!

P.S. Click here to check out my new recipe for Hemp/Chia Seed muffins. These are super yummy and healthy!

Before I dive deep into my blog with yet another humorous take on our pandemic life, I feel I must take a moment to speak seriously about the social movement that is happening. Globally we are standing together in the Black Lives Matter movement. I have been reading, talking it out and trying to really understand racism. My daughter’s fiancé is black and we have had some deep conversations. They have shed some light on things I was not aware of and I have just now learned how deeply afraid black people are. No one should live in fear for their lives. No one should ever have to worry about getting to work safely or have anxiety just seeing a police officer nearby. I ask that you take the time to try and really understand what is happening. It is way deeper than police brutality.  Have those conversations and educate yourself. Knowledge is the first step in making a change in the world. 

So many things have changed in our world over the last 3 months. This pandemic has changed how we go about our daily lives, and to keep our sanity, we must find the humor in our situation as we stumble through our new way of life. From face masks, brain fog and virtual exercise, our way of living has changed forever.

Face masks are an essential part of our wardrobe now. Many public places require us to wear them, and let’s face it (pun intended!) they are our first line of defense for this virus.

• You can now buy face masks to match your outfit. They even sell them in a set with bikinis so you can be color coordinated at the beach!
• I love the fact I can walk around and not worry about having food my teeth! There is nothing worse than coming home from an outing and discovering that big piece of broccoli in your teeth! Now I don’t even have to check my teeth.
• I have been practicing smiling with my eyes. I have a ways to go with this, I still come off as creepy!
• I feel very bad ass with my facemask! It is like I am strong like a super hero!
• I also start to channel my inner doctor when I am wearing one. I actually feel smarter in my mask!

Brain fog has become a household word. So many times I find myself smacking my forehead and saying, “what was I thinking?!”  

• Right now there is a shortage on chicken and the lunchmeat I normally buy has been hard to find. Earlier this week I was at the deli and I received the bad news they did not my chicken. I was devastated because this a staple for me and I am still on a very limited diet. I stared at the deli clerk stupefied for so long that she actually asked me if I was okay! When I got home I told my husband what happened and he said “Why didn’t you just get roast beef?” DUH! Smack the forehead again! I can totally eat roast beef! Brain Fog strikes again!
• Last week I showed up for an appointment an hour early. The worst part is that the place I was going to sends out email and text reminders a zillion times! Additionally, I had it on my calendar at the correct time. And yet, somehow I still showed up an hour early! Once again, smack the forehead!

Virtual yoga and exercise have become the norm. I surveyed my virtual students and just about everyone said they preferred doing the classes in the comfort of their home. (Me too!)

• I love not having to drive to the gym! It is so convenient teaching from home. I don’t know what I am going to do when I actually have to drive to work!
• I especially like that I don’t have to worry if I smell bad! You know that feeling when you’re doing a sweaty workout and you smell something funky and turns out to be you!  
• I discovered I love not wearing thong underwear. (Hey, I know that’s personal, I will keep it PG!) No one can see my panty lines and I am way more comfortable. Ladies, you know what I mean!

Overall I have been doing great. I have my ups and downs like most of you. I am glad summer is here and I spend time out on the lake on my paddle board. Remember to take time for yourself and find things that make you smile! We are all in this together.

Lastly, I have been Zooming along with my yoga and fitness classes. Click here if you want to see my Summer Special on my yoga classes. I am thinking about adding a Zoom Balance & Core Class on Thursday’s at 8:30am. Drop me a note if you are interested.

Here is a 3 minute video I recorded for you just saying hello! https://youtu.be/t7unMwazQzA

Have a great day!

Namaste.