Toni Kuhn

Afraid To Let Go

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Lately, I have been spending a lot of my energy on fear. I am making big changes to my work schedule, and that is not only hard to do, but very scary to me. What if my students get upset? What if I do not like my new schedule? What if I lose clients? What if people get mad at me? ( I could go on and on). The truth about these changes that I have made is that they are for my health. The driving has not only been wearing me down, but it has also affected my shoulder. I have developed bursitis, tendinitis and early arthritis in my left shoulder. I know driving did not cause this, but it does not help it. In my quest to manage the pain, I have to let go of things that do not serve my body. So I gave up my classes on Mondays and now I only drive to SCV for work on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I have been doing some deep soul searching and I kept asking myself why this decision took so long and why it was so difficult to make. I discovered that I was holding on to these classes “just in case”. Just in case, I was not making enough money. Just in case my private clients could not change their appointment date. Just in case I changed my mind. Just in case someone got mad at me for not teaching on Mondays. Just in case…..

Here is an article that my friend gave me. It explains the “just in case” dilemma.

From Bemorewithless.com

When we say “I’ll keep this just in case,” what we are really saying is …

“I’m not ready.”

“I’m afraid I’ll need this.”

“I’m afraid to let go.”

“I’m afraid I won’t have enough.”

For those of us decluttering and in search of more peace and simplicity, our problem has never been not having enough. Too much is our issue. Owning more, doing more, spending more and proving to everyone around us that we are more is weighing us down. It’s preventing us from figuring out who we are and how we want to live. It’s stopping us from doing work we love, spending time with people we love and helping those who don’t have enough.

Just in case doesn’t just apply to clutter and things in our homes. What else is going on in your life that you are holding on to out of fear? What are you holding on to because you aren’t ready, or because you are afraid to let go, or afraid you won’t have enough? When I began to let go of my just in case clutter, little pieces of fear went with it and it became easier to let go in other areas of my life.

Admitting that just in case means never allows us to stop procrastinating and invites us to let go and stop living in fear. When we say goodbye to just in case, we can start living and giving in more meaningful ways.

Today I am planning to tackle some of my closets and drawers to declutter my life. Maybe through letting go of things I do not need or use any more, I will feel lighter and more clear headed about my new schedule that starts tomorrow. Perhaps it won’t be so scary.  So what are you saving ‘Just in case’?

Namaste.

2 Comments

  1. Thanks for sharing, Toni. I’m sorry that you’ve had these health issues and I hope they resolve soon.

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